Having breast cancer was the worst thing that ever happened in my life. It was a very hopeless situation, and I felt so out of luck. I kept on asking why it has to be me. I am a mom of four children and a wife of a very responsible and loving man. That moment that I caused so much emotional pain to my loved ones made me hate everything about life. Nothing ruins the emotional and mental aspect of the ones I love more than the reality of me having cancer. It was not something they are prepared for. Although they didn’t show it, my whole family was devastated to know the truth about my condition. But regardless of all the drama that cancer has brought to my life, one thing is certain. I have learned that my family can entirely make a difference in my life decisions.
The Struggle Of Knowing The Unknown Enemy
The first couple of days and weeks after the cancer diagnosis, everything was mentally and emotionally disastrous. All my thoughts are about me dying and leaving my family. It was all about me complaining a lot of stuff to my husband. It seems like not a single thing is making me happy anymore. I was full of worries and agitation. I do not want everyone around because I pity myself so much. I do not want my family to think that I need them, even though I do. Everything about my life was hatred towards God and His every creation.
As days go by, I became a tough thing my family deals with. I refused to listen, I don’t take some of my medication, and I even isolated myself from them. I was shutting down people, including my parents, my siblings, and all of my friends. Fortunately, my husband and children didn’t give up on me. They kept on loving, caring, and supporting me even though I was unreasonable and belligerent. And after a couple of weeks more, I took the initiative to seek professional help and attended therapy sessions, as advised by my loving husband.
A Realization That Changed The Mental State
The whole experience of the therapy was exhausting at first. I was too stubborn to follow suggestions on how to take care of my mental health. I did not even open up about my emotional dilemma because I thought it was not a big deal. But one time, there was this particular moment that made me look at things in a different way. It was right after my therapist asked me, “what is my purpose in life?” Honestly, it was not supposed to be a stunning question because I knew that I wasn’t thinking about life the way I did before. But after that, I snapped back to reality. I still have my family. Thus, why on Earth am I wasting time trying to feel sorry about my condition instead of spending it with my loved ones?
At that moment, I realized that the things I did for the past couple of months were a waste of everything. The isolation and cold treatments I gave my family were useless. So when I came home after that epiphany, I immediately hugged my children and husband. I asked for their forgiveness and promised to stay positive. That is despite all the uncertainties this cancer had brought into our lives. I was sure that it would be a long and tiring journey. But it doesn’t matter. That time, all my hopes and motivation were driving me to look forward to a fast recovery. I aimed for me to get better and better every day.
To be honest, if it weren’t for my therapist, I would not see my family’s worth. That even though I understand their hardships and struggles, I am sure I was going to ignore them. It would become impossible for me to focus on my recovery despite the fact that my family is trying their best to convince me to live life. Perhaps if my husband failed to talk me into seeking professional help, he would have lost me a couple of months ago. Gladly, I feel relieved that I listened to him.
Having cancer is entirely a big deal. It is physically, mentally, and emotionally wearing. But it would help if you recognize that it is not enough reason to stop living despite the unfortunate instance. You have your family. There are still individuals around you that are more than willing to be there whenever they are needed. So if you are fighting with a condition, please seek any kind of help, whether it is physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental. Let everyone around you become an inspiration. Allow them to contribute something to your betterment, most of all, recovery.